Together Against the World
by crazy4TVDandSPN
Summary: Season 5 AU. Sam Winchester is visted by Lucifer claiming to be his appointed vessel. Sam finds one way out of this. Death. How will Dean cope when he finds out about this? And will Lucifer let Sam out of this so easily? Kind of DEATHfic! Spoliers to season 5 episode 3. ONE SHOT


Greetings! This popped into my head while watching the season 5 episodes! I know it is too late for this story as season 10 is going on but I couldn't get it out of my head! I hope you like my attempt at this story

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. They are owned by Eric Kripke.

Together against the World

Empty. That was how Sam Winchester felt. Devoid of any emotion. He knew he should feel something. Guilt, remorse, anger, fear. But there was nothing. He was empty and alone.

He was the vessel. Lucifer's vessel. Freaking Lucifer had came to him in his dead girlfriends body and stated that he was the vessel. Why him? _Why? _

Because it always had to be him. Ruby had said so. He was the ultimate boy demon king. Evil incarnate. Lucifer.

Two years he would have laughed at that. Being evil? Yeah right. But now? He had started the freaking Apocalypse. He had brought the end of the world. Go figure.

And now when he thought he could nothing wrong Lucifer had paid a dream visit to him. Sam had denied. He had denied being his vessel. Just like he had denied he would use the powers for destruction a year before. And what had he done? Destroyed the entire world. At least initiated it.

He wanted Dean. He wanted his brother here with him. Dean always knew what to say. What to do in such situations when Sam felt completely clueless. But he was not here. They had separated. Because Dean couldn't trust Sam anymore. He couldn't protect Sam anymore. He didn't _want_ to protect Sam. He didn't want anything to do with him anymore. And that hurt more than anything else.

He was all alone and destined _again _to be evil. To end the world. Again.

But this time he would not allow it. He would not allow himself to be the vessel. He couldn't this to the world. To Dean. he had lost enough.

He would just have to stop himself. End himself. Lucifer had said he would just bring him back if he died. But Sam had to _try_.

He couldn't just sit and do nothing and wait for Lucifer to show himself . He had to die. The world would be a much better place without a Winchester. Dean would save the world. It was always him.

Sam got up from the bed and looked around his room in the current run down motel. Without Dean here, there was less belongings strewn around. Dean always made a mess. Wet towels, toffee wrappers, bed unmade. But now the room was spotless. Sam had only removed his laptop and his toiletries bag. He had few belongings he could call as his own. Some weapons, clothes, books and his laptop. He should inform somebody. Give an address. Just in case Lucifer was just goading.

He wanted to call Dean. Desperately wanted to talk to him or at least hear his voice. But he couldn't do it. There was so much he wanted to say but nothing he could say that was worth. He didn't want to talk about him being Lucifer's vessel. He couldn't bear to see any more disappointment from him. Any more regret. That would crush him more than the not trusting part.

No. He couldn't call dean and tell him. It would be better this way. He is just helping him to lose another burden off him. He couldn't let Dean take care of him. He would do it himself.

He would call Bobby. He would take care of his body. He just hoped Bobby was ready to do this. Even though it had been the demon talking, Sam knew Bobby shared the same feelings. How couldn't he? He had almost _killed _ the old man before. And after all that he had done.

Sam screwed his eyes shut. He just wanted all of it to end. The pain and guilt was too much for him now. feeling empty was good. He dialed Bobby's number with shaking hands. The phone went to voicemail for which Sam was very thankful.

"Hey Bobby. Its S-sam. uh actually I need to tell you something.." Sam took a deep breath. This was hard. " I am so sorry Bobby. I know sorry won't fix this. What I have do-done. But I am going to try. I am sorry I let you do-down. I have to do this. I have to make things right. Ju-just wanted to tell you where to find me after this." Sam closed his eyes as tears slipped past. He rattled off the address of his motel.

"There is another thing. Tell sorry to De-dean, will you? Please? I couldn't call him. I just co-couldn't. It's too hard Bobby. And tell him to take care of himself okay? Tell him it's not his fault. Never was." Sam could feel his voice shaking now.

"Thanks for everything Bobby. Bye.." he disconnected.

Sam pressed his hands to his eyes to staunch the flow of tears. But he couldn't stop himself. He shakily got up to his feet. And walked towards his duffle. Rummaging through it he got out the sleeping pills bottle he always kept nearby. He peeked in the bottle. There were enough pills. The ache in his chest dissipated as he thought about the release the pills would give him. He didn't feel afraid. He could go to sleep now. No nightmares. Nothing.

He took a bottle of water and chugged down all the pills in the bottle. Throwing away the empty bottle he walked towards the bed. He didn't feel any change. But he would soon feel it.

He lay down on the bed and looked up at the ceiling. There were cracks in the wall, he noticed. He started counting them as he started feeling drowsy. His mind was a blank. He couldn't see or think about anything else besides the cracks. It felt good. Peaceful.

Sam slipped away before he could count all the cracks.

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Dean Winchester was tired. He was ready to drop down any second. Working with a emotionless angel for continuous 24 hours had stripped him of any strength or emotion. He just wanted a bed and sleep. Even his baby couldn't make him feel any better. The headlights illuminated the deserted road he was driving on. There were no signs of civilization for the past hour he was driving. He was going to kill Castiel the next time he saw him,

Dean looked over at the empty seat beside him and felt a pang of sorrow. If Sam had been here he would have come up with something to lighten up the mood. Some weird geeky stuff or heck he would have given Sam to drive so that he could rest. But Sam wasn't here. He was off somewhere else taking a break. Taking a break from Dean. Apparently he couldn't take anything else so he had just upped and left. Separated.

Dean sighed. Their separation was a mutual decision. A year before that Dean wouldn't have let Sam g off alone like that. But times had changed now. Sam, his little brother, had chosen a _demon _over him and started the freaking _apocalypse._

Dean would have laughed if it was not the truth. He could barely wrap his mind around it. He didn't know what to do. Sam had regretted it. He had felt guilty. But it had been too late. Too little, Too late. Yep, their frigging motto.

Dean couldn't find it in himself to forgive and forget. It was all too much. He needed time. So did Sam. hence they had separated. And Dean couldn't help but feel bad about all this. There was this feeling that something horrible was going to happen. Something that _he _would regret.

But of course it was too late for that too. Sam was off somewhere else that Dean didn't know about and Dean was on a mission with an angel to save the world. Just great.

His phone rang. He flipped it open and Bobby's name flashed on the screen. Dean sighed. He really didn't want to speak with him right now. Ever since Bobby knew about the spilt, he had hounded the Winchesters to death. But if he didn't answer he would keep calling and nagging.

"Hey Bobby." He answered with least interest.

"Where the hell are you? Are you anywhere near Oklohama?!"

Dean came to attention the urgent voice of Bobby. "Uh- No. I am about five hours away. What is it?"

"Son of a bitch! Turn around NOW! Get your ass to Oklohama. I am sending you the address.!" He sounded like he was having a heart attack or something

"Whoa Bobby. Calm down will you? What happened? What is in Oklohama?"

"Your idiot brother!" Bobby shrieked.

A sick feeling started in his stomach. " Sam? What about him?" he asked slowly. He had already reversed the car and was now driving across.

"I don't know exactly Dean! But it's not good! He called but I wasn't here. He left a voicemail. He didn't sound good Dean. he is not up to good!"

"What do you mean by that? What is he gonna do now?!" Dean had a feeling Bobby was hiding something. "Tell me everything. NOW."

The phone was silent was a moment and the Bobby spoke quietly,

"I think he is going to..going to kill himself. He practically told me to pick up his body from the address he has given. Told me to tell you about taking care of yourself and shit!"

Dean's blood ran cold. His mind scrambled to make sense of what he was hearing.

"I don't what happened or why he is doing this but you nedd to stop him. Or else it might be too late Dean."

_Too late_, those words mocking him again. Blood was rushing to his head.

"Dean? You there?" Bobby's voice filtered through his numb head.

"Huh? Yea..yeah. I am here. When did he call?" His voice was hoarse. He had to control himself from hitting something.

"About an hour ago." Bobby said quietly. An hour and now five hours to reach there. Four if he broke all the laws and sped which was what he was going to do. But it wont make any difference. He would not reach in time.

"I will call you when I reach." Dean said shortly and cut off the call. Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had to calm down and drive faster. He had to reach Sam. He pushed the pedal to its limit and sped past the cars without carig for the laws.

All fatigue now gone, he could only think about his brother now. The last conversation they had. The guilt-ridden expression on his face. He tried to place himself in his brothers feet for a moment and felt overwhelmed. The burden he had been carrying for a year. The demon blood. The powers. His own crippled brother from hell. And now killing lilith and breaking the last seal, starting the Apocalypse, separating from his only family.

Dean never understood the strain Sam was going through, the burden and responsibilities he was carrying. Dean was too preoccupied in his own memories of hell and getting played by the angels to do his _real_ job. Looking after his brother. Protecting him. He had forgotten about it and now Sam was going to _die_ because of it.

Dean felt bile rise up at the thought of Sam killing himself but he tapped it down. He had no time for this. He had to get to Sam. He had to apologise and comfort and protect him.

He couldn't live with himself if anything ever happened to Sam. Not when he was still alive.

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Dean made the journey in 4 hours 15 minutes. He had glanced at the address Bobby had send him and sped towards it. They had lived here once before. Hunting a Wendigo. It seemed like ages ago. That had been a good time. They had researched, bantered, Dean had good sex, had killed the wendigo without any injuries and left the town happily towards another hunt. Happy times. No angels, No demon blood. Just the two of them against the world.

He had never imagined he would return to this town with the prospect of finding his dead brother. Dean was surviving on simple adrenaline. His body was beyond tired. His head was aching with each heartbeat which was speeding in anticipation and fear. He had tried calling Cas and telling him to zap his way to Sam and hold him till he reached to beat his ass. But as usual he never answered. When he needed him the most, Cas never answered.

Dean reached and motel and parked the car haphazardly in the entrance and got out. He wanted to run towards the room but at the same time he didn't want to find out what had happened beyond that door. He swallowed his fear and walked up to the room. He knocked twice on the door and called out,

"Sam? Open up!"

No answer. Hands visibly shaking, Dean turned the knob to find it unlocked. He slowly opened the door and stepped inside. The room was partially light and he couldn't make out much.

But he did see the long figure laid up on the farthest bed, hands propped on his stomach.

Eyes closed.

Chest still.

Skin gray.

Dead.

Dean had the strongest sense of Déjà vu. Sam in the same position. On a dirty cot. Back in Cold Oak. Dead.

"_NO" _The word escaped through Dean lips as he stared transfixed at his brothers still body. He was still standing in the door. The faint light from outside spilled in the room. But Dean was frozen in place. He couldn't move. He couldn't do anything.

Sam was dead. He was too late. He was too late to save his dad. He was too late to save his brother the first time. He was too late to save his brother now. Dean took a shaky step in the room and closed the door behind him. There was darkness around. But the light near Sam's bed illuminated his dead features. His gray face. His still heart.

"Sammy!" Dean yelled as he walked the short distance between them and fell heavily against the floor beside the bed. At once the dam collapsed and Dean felt his chest ache unbearably with sorrow and grief. He bowed his head as 'Sam is dead' kept chanting in his head over and over.

"No. No. _No." _Dean shook his head as moisture formed in his eyes and found trail against his face. He rarely cried. Dean Winchester never showed weakness. But he could care less. He couldn't stop himself as he sobbed abashedly. It was all too much. The whole year. Sam's betrayal. The end of the world. Sam dead in front of him.

He had to release the pent up emotions. Hot tears cascaded down his cheeks as he looked up and slowly touched Sam's hand. It was cold and stiff. Dean couldn't care less. He took it between both his hands and squeezed tightly as if he could bleed his very own life into him.

"Sammy..Come on bro. You cant do this!" He brought the hand closer to his face. He couldn't keep his eyes away from his lifeless face. He wanted to look away. but he couldn't. he was transfixed.

"I am soo sorry. I should have been there for you Sam. I am sorry I let you go…Sammy.." Dean knew he was blabbering. But he wanted Sam to know how he felt. God couldn't be that cruel, could he? How could he do this?

Dean just couldn't stop crying. Sam's hand was wet by in his hands. Bathed in his brothers tears. Dean didn't let go of his hand. He wasn't ready. He never would be. He pushed Sam's overgrown shaggy hair out of his closed eyes.

"I used to do that, remember? You used to love it when we were kids. You once said it made you feel safe. Being with me made you feel safe and happy." Dean said with a soft smile.

" Of course it annoyed the hell out of you when we were older. But I still did it. there were so many things we used to do together…" Dean closed his eyes tightly as a image of a much younger Sam popped up. Happy carefree Sam. His geeky little brother with a soft heart. His brother who was cold and dead.

" I am so sorry…" He said as the tears finally stilled and he laid his head lightly on the bed next to his brother. He was exhausted. Emotionally and Physically. He felt empty.

Sam's hand still clutched in his hands he went off into sweet oblivion.

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Sam came to with a gasp. His eyes flew open and he breathed rapidly to orient himself.

_You cannot die yet…._

A voice lingered in his head. Sam blinked his vision into focus and the first thing he saw were the cracks in the ceiling. The cracks he was counting before he went off to sleep. No. Before he went off to _die…._

From what he could tell, he was very much alive. His heart was beating, he could see, hear and feel. Which brought to his attention the feel of something heavy on his left hand. He turned towards his left and froze.

"_Dean?"_ he whispered slowly. He blinked a couple of times to make sure he was seeing right.

Dean was kneeling down on the floor, his head on the bed and his hand was clutched tightly in his hands.

Sam frowned. His mind still felt muddled. What had happened? What was Dean doing here?

Sam tried pulling his hands from the grasp but found he couldn't. It was clutched very tightly. Sam could feel the blood circulation cut off. Sam shifted himself up on the bed. His hand moved. But Dean didn't.

Worried now, Sam tentatively reached out and gripped his brothers shoulder.

"Dean?" Sam shook the shoulder. " Hey. Wake up."

Dean stirred. And then immediately tightened. But he kept his head down and the grip in his hand tightened more. Sam winced in pain. He did not know why Dean was acting like this. He did have an idea of course. But still.

"Um Dean? You are hurting my hand Dude." He said in a light tone.

Dean slowly pushed his head up and looked at Sam. The first thought that crossed his mind was that Dean looked awful. His face was pale and his eyes were swollen and red rimmed. He was staring at Sam with a fierce yet dead gaze.

"You look awful Dean." Sam said. He tugged at his hand but still Dean didn't budge.

"Sammy?" Dean whispered so softly that if Sam had not been paying any attention he wouldn't have heard it. His voice was rough and hoarse.

"Yeah. Its me." Sam said softly. He didn't want to make any sudden moves. He had a feeling that he had to tread softly or else Dean might get totally freaked out if he already wasn't.

"You are dead." Dean stated quietly. It was not a question. Just a matter of fact statement. Sam winced internally. His suspicions had been confirmed. Dean had found him dead. And he still believed he was dead.

"No. I am here Dean. I am not dead." Sam said slowly as if speaking to a child. Dean with his vulnerable expression looked that.

At once his features hardened and he said tightly, "Don't lie to me! I saw you! You are dead…Or wait! Maybe you are not Sam…Who are you?!"

1

"Hey hey! Its me Dean. It's Sam. I am not dead. Look for yourself okay?"

"No…." Dean whispered brokenly.

"Listen to me. I WAS dead okay? But I am here now. I am alive." Sam said firmly. It was killing him to see Dean like this. Broken and sad. He never thought about Dean's reaction to his death. Yes, last time he had been so devastated that he had gone and sold his soul. But now? He didn't want to be with his brother. So why was he so broken?

"Sam? It is really you?" he asked quietly.

"Yes Dean." Sam said with a sigh. He could finally see the gears turning in his brothers head.

At once Dean left his hand and before Sam could even think about it, he felt Dean hit him strongly in the jaw. The pain carried through his head and he felt his body slumping sideways.

Before he could hit the bed though, Dean put his arms around him and pulled him close in a fierce hug. Sam could fell his head revolving and he closed his eyes tightly against the onslaught of emotions. He slowly put his arms around his brother and held on.

"Oh God. Sammy.." His brother murmured tightening his hold more than was possible.

"Its okay Dean. I am here." Sam said quietly. It was what Dean wanted to hear. Sam felt so safe and overwhelmed at the moment. They never hugged. It was a strict chick flick moment that was avoided at all costs. Except maybe during disasters. And apparently this counted as a disaster.

It was a long time before they both let it go. Sam didn't push. He needed it as much as Dean. He was content to simply lie there in his arms. But apparently Dean was still frozen in mixed emotions.

"You bastard!" he exclaimed pushing himself back and looking at Sam with anger filled eyes. He was positively seething in rage. Sam would have not have been surprised if he was hit again. Except Dean didn't. Instead he grabbed his shoulders and shook him fiercely.

"What in hell were you _thinking? _Huh? Why did you _do it?_"

There was rage in his words but anguish in his eyes. He was looking at Sam with fierce expression. Sam hung his head, shame filling his face. He couldn't tell Dean about Lucifer's vessel.

"Sam! _Answer me_!" Dean shook him again.

"I am sorry Dean…" Sam said quietly.

"No No. You don't get to say sorry and leave it like that. you have to tell me what made you do this!"

"Dean please-

"No! I get a call from Bobby about you leaving some 'goodbye' voicemail with him and I come here and find you de-dead.!"

Dean's voice shook at the end. " I mean…you cant even bother to tell me? What? You wanted me to be notified at your funeral? Do you hate me that much?"

Sam's head shot up. He had no intention to express that to his brother. Was that what he really thought?

"Dean. No. I don't hate you! I just…..I did not want you to be disappointed in me! I did not want you to kill me! So I had to do it myself!"

Dean stared at him with his mouth open. He removed his hands from the death grip he had on his shoulders and wiped his jaw with his hand.

"Disappoint? Kill you? Why would I do that Sam? You know I forgave you about the Apocalypse. I mean, I am still angry about the whole thing but-

"Its not about the Apocalypse." Sam said quietly.

"Then what?"

Sam took a deep breath, "Lucifer visited me yesterday."

"_What?!"_ Dean exclaimed.

"Yes." Sam said heavily. " He said….He said I am supposed to be his vessel." There. He had finally said it.

Dean just sat there staring at him. his expression was blank. No disappointment but still nothing. Sam closed his eyes. it was over now.

"Shit Sam. How fucked up can this get anymore?" Dean said running a hand through his head.

"Winchester luck. More specifically, Sam Winchester luck." Sam said laughing weakly.

"And you thought what? Killing yourself will solve this?" Dean asked in a tense voice.

"I told him no Dean. but he is not going to stop. And I…I am too weak…I don't want to destroy things anymore than I already have…" Sam said softly.

"Sammy…Hey. You should have told me kiddo."

"Like I said I didn't want you to kill me. I cant possibly do that to you."

"What the hell Sam? I am not going to kill you! Neither am I disappointed in you! You did not ask for any of this! Not the demon blood, not the powers!"

"But I had the choice of controlling it. Of using it. But I didn't. I didn't listen to you and look what has happened!"

"I know what you did was wrong. But you know that Heaven and Hell both played us to this. The forces were too strong against us. And we both succumbed to it. It is not only your fault alone. It is mine too."

"Dean.."

"No Sam. Listen to me. It Is Not Your Fault. You are berating yourself up about it. You realize your mistakes. Now all we can do about it is to solve it and kill Lucifer once and for all. We will do it together Sammy."

"Together?" Sam asked hopefully.

"Yes. I had enough of the frigging angels and demons battling against us. We will not let them manipulate us will do what dad taught us. What we do. Help others."

"Are you sure about this Dean? You don't trust me." Sam said quietly.

"But still I want no one else but you to watch my back. we both did mistakes Sam. Its time to mend them. Are you with me?"

Sam looked into the utter sincerity on Dean's face. Sam wanted nothing else but for the to be like they were before. Together, fighting off evil. He knew Dean still didn't trust him completely. But he would try no matter what to earn that trust back. And he would mend his mistakes. If Dean was with him, he had no concerns.

"Yes. I am with you." Sam whispered.

"And don't you EVER pull that stunt again. Or else I will bring you back and kick your ass all the way from heaven to hell. You understand me?" Dean said his eyes narrowed.

Sam allowed himself a small smile. "Yes. Anyways Lucifer wont let me die." He shrugged.

Dean frowned, "That explains you coming back. Have to thank him for that before we kill him."

"Yeah. Like he is doing that for my good." Sam snorted.

"Whatever Bitch."

"Jerk."

"So we must have completed the quota for a whole lifetime of chick flicks moments?" Dean asked wearily.

"You started it dude. You were totally holding my hand." Sam grinned.

"Shut up. You are the girl. Forget it. You are getting me dinner. A large dinner. And I am going to sleep for a week." Dean said as he yawned.

"Yeah. Okay. I will get you your heart attack-extra calories food. Then we can BOTH sleep for a week."

Dean gave a soft smile in his brothers direction which Sam promptly returned. That felt so good. They still had issues that needed resolving and time. but they would get through it.

It will be the two of them against the world.

The End

Thank you for reading. Don't forget to review…!


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